When He Smiles
by Blueraingurl
Summary: Deals with Conrad and his reflections while he is on Earth. Implied Conrad/Julia.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou.

**Title:** When He Smiles

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When Conrad frowns, Souma frowns back. He disapprovingly shakes his head and tells Conrad that he cannot see his family like that.

Souma is fierce and Conrad cannot understand why. He brushes it off, not taking it seriously though. He is only here to complete a job, whether the Shibuyas like him or not. He knows his duty – it is always the same; never changing even after her death. However, he welcomes this change at least, since he does not want to be over there. That place where her smiles and laughter haunt him at every corridor and corner.

Yes, he likes it here.

It is dirty and noisy yet quiet all the same time. No one knows him here. No one cares where he goes or what he does. No one glances at him with pity and concern. Most importantly, that constant sensation of her lingering presence abates somewhat in this distant country.

Or so he tells himself.

He knows he is lying to himself, but it does not matter as he holds the empty blue bottle between the tips of his fingers. He examines it - it is a strange sensation; her soul was here not too long ago. He starts to roll the bottle between his fingers, cupping it between his palms as a soft mysterious blue scatters in between. But he knows that when he lifts it up towards the sun, a myriad of lights will bounce off instead, giving off a strong radiance.

He hesitates holding it up because that radiance reminds him of her smile. But he cannot suppress that small longing to see it again and so, he lifts it up... A strong yet gentle warmth filters through him. Almost as if she is there smiling at him, reassuring him and urging him to move on. His heart aches again at that thought.

He puts the bottle back into his pocket, promising her that he will try. Yes, maybe another day, just not today. . . He knows that he is not ready, maybe he will never be.

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When Conrad meets Souma again, Souma continues to frown.

"You're still the same," Souma says, "even after all this time."  
"I just want to say goodbye," Conrad replies. _'But I am smiling, am I not?'_  
"Just because you look like you're smiling does not mean that you are," Souma responds to Conrad's unspoken question.

Conrad continues to smile though, but does not know what to say. Souma in turn looks as if he wants to say something more, but stops to look at him intently again. Searching for what, Conrad is not sure.

Suddenly, Souma nods his okay and Conrad feels an unexplainable relief. Maybe he feels relief because he needs to say goodbye to her. He knows this, he understands this but it does not make it any less painful.

Conrad walks quietly into the room. He looks down at the little one before him. Yuuri, his name is Yuuri. He wonders what kind of person Yuuri will grow up to be. He wonders what kind of pains he will go through once he realizes his fate as the Maou. At this Conrad feels guilt tug at him, is he making the same mistake when he gave this innocent boy her soul?

A child who will not have a future of his own choosing...

A soft gurgling sound interrupts his thoughts and he thinks no more, as he looks downward. No, rather, that brilliant smile distracts him.

Yuuri stretches his arms towards him and Conrad does not know what to do. Although, he remembers the times in the past holding and cradling Wolfram to sleep, Conrad is hesitant to reach out now.

Yuuri stares at him and Conrad looks away. The next moment something flies towards him and Conrad instinctively reaches out to catch it. It squeaks once he firmly grips it. Yuuri laughs at the sound and tries to move, while Conrad looks in awe at the yellow contraption in his hands. He does not know how much time passes between him holding the duck and looking quizzically at the child before him, but Yuuri's innocent smile and trust moves him, and Conrad is no longer smiling.

Conrad finally understands that he is broken; he finally understands Souma.

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Conrad knows that when he sees Yuuri in the future, he will be able to give him true smiles and hellos. But, for now at least, Conrad knows that he needs to say his goodbye to her first before he can move any step forward.


End file.
